Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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