maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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