ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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