I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
