Plan B is the new Plan A
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize