I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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