I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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