And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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