when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
