You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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