I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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