god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
