I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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