but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
