I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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