I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
