Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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