my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize