so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
