It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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