But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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