true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The struggles of a small town man whore
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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