She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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