Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
