I wish I could teleport
My first STD was from a foam party
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
