Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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