this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
