woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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