now i know why i became what i already was.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think your dad took our porno
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
