Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
operation harelip BJ is a go
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
