if only i could text you this smell
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
