the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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