Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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