i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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