I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize