Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
