Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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