I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
