how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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