It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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