I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
