So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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