Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
