so that wasnt chicken after all
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize