even my farts smell like vagina
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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