That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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