walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
