I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
