Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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