you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
