I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
