TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize