but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
