are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
