so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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