He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
