We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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