its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
