I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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