We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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