Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
