I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's the barista slut.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
