just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
