Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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