i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize