I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
