I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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