Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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