are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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