I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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