I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
