The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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