Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
