He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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