I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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