And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
