I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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